Okay! I’m a terrible procrastinator. I mean I’m an EPIC procrastinator.
Right now, as things stand, I’m two months behind my desired release date for one book, I’m weeks behind where I want to be on two others and summer is coming. SUMMER IS COMING!! I’m basically a Stay A Home Mom. Which means for ten weeks I’m going to have TWO miniature humans to entertain and educate all on my own. I’ll also have minimal time for the things I’m currently procrastinating on. I suppose I could continue with Plan Procrastination, but somehow that seems less like the adult thing to do. So 1) I’m going to have to crack and get two novels first drafts finished in the next eight weeks and 2) I’m going to have to come up with real, enriching, and exhausting plans for the mini hominids before they start peeling the paint off the walls.
For my first issue, I think this will have to be resolved with Ass-In-Chair-Time. No excuses, no whining, no distractions. Just get it the hell done. I can re-write and edit in small batches once the bulk is on paper. If by the end of summer I have even one more novel more or less ready for beta readers, then I can call that a win.
As to problem number two, keeping two small humans with considerable curiosity, boundless creativity, unrelenting energy, and minimal downtime, engaged, enlightened, and exhausted, I’m at a bit of a loss. Of course, I have considered several options for summer activities. Swim lessons, music lessons and practice, and an assortment of reading challenges are already on deck, but honestly, my older child needs more. She is social (it comes from her father’s side, I’m sure) and needs to have interactions with other children on at least a semi-weekly basis or something important pops in her brain and she is insufferable until she gets a social outlet. The younger child is content with her electronic media, and if I let her, she would hide out in her room only to emerge for the occasional corndog and ice cream sandwich or maybe a trip to the pool. The internet tells me this isn’t good parenting.
So I have ideas that will literally entertain the children for about two hours of every day. If I toss in random chores, trips to the gym, swimming outside of swim lessons, cooking lessons, crafting classes, sewing lessons, trips to local museums, math challenges, library programs, learning to write, record and produce a podcast, learning to knit, music camp, gymnastics camp, camping camp, build and programming a computer, and learning a new language (perhaps even developing a language of their own) I will still have roughly twenty hours a day to figure out what to do with these pint-sized people.
You may be wondering why my goal is to exhaust them. Well, I’ll tell ya. Because if these tiny tyrants aren’t exhausted, they will color the ceiling with sharpie pens, or make trebuchets with rubber bands, shoes, popsicle sticks and paper clips, or eat three boxes of cereal in the dead of night. I have woken these children up to discover they have painted their ENTIRE bodies overnight. No, if there is to be peace in this house, they must get exhausted every day if there is to be peace.
At the end of this summer, my kids will be either completely ready to launch their one start-up or their brains will have completely rotted away and their teachers will wonder if we did anything edifying over the summer.
I’m tired just thinking about it. The knowledge that most of my summer energy will be dedicated to my micro-monkeys makes the pressure to finish the projects I have just floating in front of me all the more daunting. I may just put them in charge of my social media accounts. The older one wants a YouTube channel, and this would be good practice for it.
But there is a silver lining, I’ll be able to write short stories over the summer because I won’t have another, larger project demanding so much attention.
Also, I really love spending time with the little toadies. Watching them master a new skill, excel at an existing one, or just try something new is really fun and gratifying, and I’d also like to not detract from my time with them by worrying about projects I could have nailed down before summer.
So summer is coming, I need to get shit done, but it’s because I want to get it done 1) because I will be happier to move these projects along, and 2) I will be happier to not worry about those things when I could be having fun with the human kittens.